The Gift to Be Simple
As I reflect upon all that went into and resulted from the event on December 6th, I am humbled and truly grateful for the women who attended and the many hands that made it happen. Most of all, I see how God orchestrated all the pieces, people, and parts to simply come together for a night of connection and seeing his glory. Some have asked me to post the talk and I will gladly share the recording when it is available, however, until then I am honored to share my original writing I prepared for the event, The Gift to Be Simple. Enjoy!
Good evening ladies and thank you for choosing to share your night with us. I’m truly grateful and honored to speak tonight and share the heart behind “The Gift to Be Simple”. If you’ve attended any of the women’s events at North Star recently, we’ve likely met but for those who are new here tonight, welcome, and let me do a quick intro. I’m Jamie Wilson, wife to Lucas, mom to three girls in a blended family, and a myriad of other roles as I steward my life. One of which is supporting our women’s/mom’s ministry here at North Star. Over the years, I’ve been leading women’s events and sharing the vision but this year, it felt different as I quite hesitantly asked to hold this microphone tonight. I’ve never seen myself as a teacher and I certainly have never felt qualified to be in this spot, however, God impressed this theme upon my heart and as I look back, he’s been revealing this concept to “gift simplicity” to myself and my family because as many of us know, once the Christmas season begins, it’s easy to start making lists and checking them twice. No sooner does Thanksgiving end and we begin rushing around like the family in Home Alone, becoming Grinch-like or do I even dare say, like the Bad Moms as depicted in the movie? Maybe I’m jumping way ahead but to be blunt, that’s the point, those movies or sentiments are centered on Christmas as another “thing to do” on our schedule or making the season about gift or “Santa”…Certainly not anchored to the Holiness and reverence of the birth of Jesus Christ, the newborn King.
I’ve experienced all the various kinds of Christmas-crazy in my life and the more I live and parent, the more I reflect and realize the way I’ve allowed culture, not Jesus to rule the way I celebrate Christmas. I wasn’t deliberate about how I would create Christmas traditions in my own life and family, for I saw what my family did when I was growing up and assumed that was “the way” to do Christmas. Dad’s side on Christmas Eve, staying up way too late in an itchy Christmas dress and tights, then mom staying up until the wee hours to launder and iron those same outfits so they were ready for Church on Christmas Day followed by feasting with her side later that very day. In all honesty, through child’s eyes, I don’t remember that feeling like a bad thing - it was familiar and often fun with cousins, cookies, and krumkake! As a young adult, I observed the hustle and struggle of the grown ups to buy all the gifts and “make it fair” or buying gifts for everyone - like literally everyone, the secret Santa exchanges, the classroom parties, and the list goes on. This was all pre-social media - so when the internet became hand-held and I saw then, how everyone else did Christmas - it launched me into striving for another echelon of Holli-dazzle! Now it felt like it wasn’t enough to send a JCPenny portrait studio Christmas card, it had to be an aesthetic but not trying too hard coordinated outfit on a pearl heavyweight cardstock with a wax seal kind of card. The handme down faux garlands and colored lights I had weren’t going to cut it. The enemy of comparison killed the joy and I lost sight of what the season was all about. I had bought into the lie that it was “on me” to make the Christmas season magical for my family, to find the perfect gifts, send the perfect card, decorate the house to be Pintrest worthy, plan and execute the gourmet meals and show up at all the events and don’t dare repeat the outfit. Are we exhausted yet?! But what I had been overlooking was the pride and insecurity that was expertly hiding in plain sight when I took Christmas upon myself instead of allowing the awe, wonder, and holiness of Jesus to be infinitely more than enough to make the season bright. He will always surpass my best attempts because He is God with us - Emmanuel.
Ladies, My heart is not to say that we scrap all the beauty that makes the Christmas season so memorable but rather, I invite you to journey with me tonight as we unpack WHY and SHOULD we do it. What is motivating us to repeatedly overextend ourselves, our families, or our finances? As I was sharing all the things moments ago, I noticed the head nods, the smirks, and “been there” kind of expressions. See, we live in a first world culture with actual first world problems. We have the privilege and luxury of choice and consequently, the burden of seeing what everyone else has or does. We’ve lived the intense and often unspoken pressure to carry on traditions that we may not even know where they originated. Have we given ourselves permission to pause to consider if we should? A study noted Americans spend approximately $997.73 on Christmas each year. That’s roughly the equivalent of the median pre-tax weekly salary of $1,001. Our propensity to overindulge and then purge or detox is on full display not only in the things we buy but the way we consume - and I don’t just mean sweet treats or goodies, I mean the way we repeat this cycle with toys for our kids that we eventually feel overwhelmed by, the excess in so many ways that perpetuate a cycle of emptiness. Again, let’s ask ourselves WHY?
Jesus’s birth story is most often told through the book of Luke… but so much of scripture tells us that we as Christ followers, should be set-apart, sanctified, consecrated…simply put, different than the culture around us. We are commanded in Exodus to have no other Gods but God and we are also told through Jesus’s teaching in the parables about our treasure-warning us in Luke 12:34 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” - so what do we treasure? Jesus helps us by also saying in Luke12:15, “Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against wanting to have more and more things. Life is not made up of how much a person has.” This passsge was referring to a man who had an abundant harvest, so much that he could store it and then Eat, Drink, and be Merry - sound familiar? But well known author and teaching Pastor, John Mark Comer once said, “love is spelled T I M E.” I have always remembered that not just because my love language is quality time but because I happen to think it is just plain true. Time is the only commodity we can’t manufacture more of, unlike the rich man Jesus spoke about, who could plant more crops, so where we spend it really counts. So when we “do christmas” in such a way that we are hurried, can we truly give the appropriate L-O-V-E spelled T-I-M-E to Jesus? Jesus was pretty simple. He had the most impactful ministry the world has seen, yet he didn’t really own anything, wasn’t of noble lineage, nor did he want that. He centered his ministry on being in direct opposition to the culture around him, even the culture within the religious elite. Jesus didn’t want everyone’s best most polished presentation or presents, he simply wanted their hearts. He still wants our hearts today. God has given us the most sustainable gift imaginable - it will never run out and has a zero carbon footprint! Maybe you’ve heard of the 4 gift approach - something they want, need, wear and read. Well, God already gifts in that way - prayer is things we may want (not like a genie but we can ask and we will receive), he gave us all we need when he gave us Jesus, his son, and the Holy spirit that dwells in us. He gave us something to read - His living Word - the Bible, and something to wear, the armor of God as described in Ephesians. Its like he knew we would have things we want, he knew our needs well ahead of us, he knew our minds would need to be fed truth and we would need a wardrobe that would stand and transcend the test of time and style.
So how can we grab onto this idea of The Gift to be Simple? For me, I am thinking back to some of my best and favorite memories of Christmas - The year Dad took us to Home Alone on Christmas Eve and Santa came early! The year my brothers and I decorated our house with those faux garlands and colored lights before mom got home from work! The year I got a sapphire cross necklace and not a lot else. At the time it didn’t seem like such a great gift but years later, I am thankful I have it, something of value and a precious stone that God says will be glittering in his Kingdom. Hidden in those stories is the simple gift of time…time we had with just our dad, time my mom had just to herself, and the excitement we felt as kids that Santa was ahead of time getting to our house! The gift of time my mom got back when we decorated and how she received it without feeling the need to tweak it-like how did she resist that urge because I’m sure it wasn’t perfect!? And, the necklace…a delayed gift…one I had felt guilt over as an adult, when I thought back to how I didn’t fully appreciate it when I received it as an 8th grader. But, I experienced delayed gratitude for it when I asked my mom if she still had it when I was 40 and lo and behold, she did! If you know my mom, this doesn’t surprise you and her inventory somehow always has a purpose! Back on track…To receive the necklace again with new eyes and a more open heart was powerful. See, sometimes the best gifts aren’t new at all…maybe it’s a forgotten thing of the past that has new life in a new season with a new person. Like so many women, I can look back at the times I fretted over the optics of my Christmas while overlooking what was most important. I let the peace and contentment with what I had and how I was doing things be robbed by the lie that somehow it wouldn’t be enough. See my WHY was due to my fear that my kids would be disappointed or think I was “less cool” because other kids got something I wouldn’t buy. My fear and insecurity that my daughter would prefer her dad and stepmom’s side for holidays because they tend to buy more. My fear that my kids wouldn’t know my love for them if it wasn’t wrapped in a huge package under the tree. My fear that if I simply honored God, I may ostracize myself and my family- hello FOMO. My fear was all about me, and it was showing my utter lack of trust that God and his son, are enough.
So what did I do? And, if any of this resonates with you, what can we do together?
Maybe we can normalize the idea of “new to you” gifts. Not like the regifting that we all pretend not to do once in a while - but like all out really gifting something that you have and isn’t being used anymore but someone else would deeply enjoy it. Or you buy things second hand and fully embrace it - unabashedly gift that gently used thing but you can share the story of how you saw it and it made you think of this specific person and why the gift is perfect for them. My oldest can share a couple stories like this from her childhood - she received a large box of American Girl doll clothes and accessories, all of which she now knows were bought on Craigslist, washed, wrapped in tissue and packaged in a previously used American girl doll box (once again, my mom’s inventory came in clutch). I used to wonder if I’d be embarrassed if she ever found out but now, I’m proud of that story and she loves it too. Maybe, let’s embrace that kind of gift.
As a result, maybe we spend a little less money on gifts and now we have more to give to those who have so little? What message would that send to our kids? What message does that send to our community or even the world? Susie Larson wrote in her “Prepare Him Room” devotional - “what if you simplified your season enough that your family could feel both blessed and at rest?” If we aren’t doing as much with gifts, perhaps that means we have a more time to nap or notice opportunities to serve or share the good news of Jesus with someone. Perhaps that someone is in your family and instead of another gift card, you give them a message of truth and hope that never expires.
It might be that you celebrate exactly the same as you’ve always done but this year, you pause to read the Nativity story with your family or take communion together or deepen your anticipation of celebration through Advent. Again, God made us all unique and he calls us “the body” meaning we all serve a unique purpose to create the whole. In 1 Peter 4:10 it says, “Just as one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God.” See, how we celebrate Jesus’s birth in a unique way in our unique gifting, will be used by God to glorify himself. You might do something out of the cultural norm and it causes someone else to ask why and wouldn’t it be exciting to share your WHY?!
As I think back to my childhood memories of Christmas, I was oblivious to all the work and chaos that was going on behind the scenes to make Christmas magical. I just loved my family and the time we had together, crazy as it was. I share this message tonight not as a rebuke or call to action for you to scrap all your Christmas traditions, but rather I share my heart and more importantly, what God wanted for us, to liberate us to do the unexpected at Christmas, because he certainly did by bringing salvation through a helpless baby. A common phrase is “be the change you want to see in the world” and perhaps, this is a time to try. Maybe it is one less gift, one less gathering, one less drink, one less post or doom scrolling session on social media that leaves you feeling small. Maybe simplicity shows up as one more prayer, one more slow breath of fresh fraiser fir or norway pine, or a crisp snowfallen walk with family or friends. Maybe it is one less YES to something rooted in guilt or resentful obligation. God loves a cheerful giver and wouldn’t that apply to how we give our time? Perhaps people would notice and it would beg the question WHY? Why are you so peaceful and unhurried? What gives you the courage to say no? Wow, What an opportunity to go straight to the heart of what God wanted for us. To love him and love our neighbors as ourselves. So when we love ourselves well - not overindulging but actually living connected to the vine and bearing the fruit of the spirit - we can embody something different. Something that grabs the attention of a distracted and hurried world and makes them desire the simplicity of making Jesus the center of their lives. The simplicity of serving one king and slowing down enough to hear what he wants for us - because he only wants the best. That BEST might look different for each family and that is ok.
I invite you to center your hearts on the lyrics of the song, Simple Gifts, which we heard Emma play so beautifully as the evening opened.
Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain'd,
To bow and to bend we will not be asham'd,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.
My hope and prayer for you this Christmas season is to prayerfully and with humble hearts, hear from God how He desires for your unique family to find rest in the gift to be free, to find yourself in the valley of love and delight, and not be ashamed to honor Him and the gift of his beloved Son - our newborn King. For it is He who will be our everlasting gift, fully present in our hearts, never ceasing to surpass any gift we could ever imagine and that will be our delight.
