"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. "
— attributed to C.S. Lewis
What I offer
My goal as a Certified Circle Keeper and qualified neutral* is to deliver a collaborative and restorative alternative dispute resolution (ADR) option. I call it Transformative Family Mediation (TFM) utilizing Circle practices. While mediation itself seeks to be more collaborative in nature, I personally define Transformative Family Mediation as a process that serves to support decision making while allowing space for your story to be heard, affirmed, and provides the opportunity for healing to take place. This creates the ability for all parties to thrive in the next chapter of their lives.
Ideally, I would like to engage with you before you (and potentially the other party) have an attorney involved so it can truly be an empowering, cost effective, and healing process for you and others involved. While attorneys zealously advocate for their clients, this often creates a win-lose dynamic between parties and if there are children involved, they are the ones most hurt by this. By taking an approach that brings healing of the relationship while resolving the conflict, the ability to effectively co-parent with dignity, humility, and respect in the future is more likely to occur. You are here because you desire something better for your future - I applaud you for taking this step.
free consultation
I offer a complimentary 30 minute consultation to learn about your unique circumstances and determine next steps. My desire is to empower you to resolve conflict and restore relationships. The consultation will enable you to decide if my services will best support you through that process. I look forward to meeting you.
The Process
-
Initial Meeting & Schedule
I offer a complimentary consultation where I will learn more about your unique circumstances and discuss how TFM can work for your situation. Circles and TFM is unique as it allows the people engaged in the conflict to maintain more control of the outcome and empowered to make decisions. If we both agree this method is a good fit, there will be intake and screening paperwork collected along with the consent of the other party(ies) to participate as well.
Next, we’ll set a schedule for meetings (in person or virtually) and the number of meetings will be based upon the type of situation/conflict. A key attribute of circles that is not present in traditional mediation or family court, is the opportunity for “wise counsel” to participate. We can invite subject matter experts (financial advisors, realtors, therapists, school teachers, church leaders, etc.) or trusted and objective family or friends who can support the conflict resolution process.
-
The Cost
I will quote you a fee for services during our initial consultation. This may be an hourly rate or a flat fee depending on the circumstances. For conflict you can anticipate three sessions or more, a divorce agreement may require four or more depending on the ability of parties to collaborate and reach consensus. Utilizing TFM will undoubtedly be a cost savings over retaining an attorney and going through formal court proceedings. If there are isolated issues that require the services of an outside professional such as a realtor, mortgage consultant, or attorney, I will make recommendations to a network of professionals who will support you in finalizing these points and honor the TFM process. All anticipated costs will be detailed in an “agreement to mediate” contract so everyone knows what to expect for a more enjoyable process overall.
-
Sessions
As we engage in the process, we will set a foundational understanding of the Circle process. All future meetings will utilize this process.
—establish/re-establish circle process
—build common ground (could be reviewing and ensuring decisions made in prior sessions are still commonly agreed upon)
—facilitate rounds of questions to elicit story telling and build empathy
—build consensus (final session may have follow up to draft and finalize documents for pro-se court filing in divorce situations)
-
Outcome
In the scenario where we are collaborating to reach an agreement to dissolve a marriage, the potential outcome (provided parties can reach a mutual agreement) is you leave the final session with your dignity and integrity in tact and relational reconciliation at a place where full restoration is made possible, I will provide a Memorandum of Agreement and support so you can file pro-se (without an attorney) with the appropriate county court. See my resource page for more information on this topic.
This stage is dependent upon the ability for parties to make decisions they can live with, not where a winner or loser is determined. The goal will be for each party to maintain the core beliefs of Circle when we conclude.